Melody Fury Spits: Dog Meat, Food Network Murder, Gordon Ramsay’s Broke

Posted by on May 18, 2010

I read a lot of crazy stuff on the interweb and I re-spit them on Twitter. Then it dawned on me… not all of my readers have twitter! I’ve been depriving some of you from top-notch food and industry news.

So here is a round-up of the most ridiculous and entertaining food news, with a dose of my furious commentary.

The first edition of Melody Spits – here goes.

Melody Fury Spits latest food news and gossip

Chinese Astronaut Ate Dog Meat In Space

Telegraph reports that dog meat was on the menu during China’s first space mission. While that doesn’t surprise me, it did lead me to several queries.

  1. The article claims that dog meat is eaten in N. China to “battle the winter cold”. REALLY? I heard it’s eaten for it’s deliciousness.
  2. Why didn’t they hire an American to translate their menus?  I could have easily made “braised duck neck” and “eel with green pepper” sound appetizing. 
    Remember what sweetbreads really is, and that sablefish is just re-branding for the common black cod.
  3. Why’s China still going to space? What are they expecting to find?

Melody and Beardogg

This is my Beardogg (double g). Don’t eat him!

Gordon Ramsay Owes 200K in Meat Bills

There’s good fury, then there’s bad fury. 

Naughty ol’ British boy, Gordon.  I used to love him.  I even dined at his restaurant in Tokyo.  I love his uncompromising nature and his dedication to simultaneously nurture talent and eradicate idiots.  However, I lost all respect for him when I found out he was cheating on his wife. (Google it)

While I realize that it’s commonplace for celebrities to cheat on their spouses, I resent Ramsay because he exploited his family throughout his career.  In F Word, 1/3 of his show was about raising animals in his backyard to show his kids where their food comes from.  He appealed as being the ultimate family man. Plus, his wife is drop dead gorgeous! That’s not right. 

So now he’s broke, according to New York Post. Cry me a river. Can someone please adopt his kids?

Gordon Ramsay's Food

Food Network “Star” Charged for Plotting to Murder Wife

CBS News reports that the “famed” Food Network star, Juan-Carlos Cruz of Calorie Commando, was charged for allegedly hiring several homeless people to kill his wife. For sympathy, he claimed that he was going to “off” himself after.

Where do I begin? I like lists.

  1. Is this guy famous? Never heard of him.
  2. Do people still watch Food Network? I stopped 5 years ago.
  3. There are no low-caloric menus in prison.

I hope you enjoyed the first edition of Melody Spits.  I’ll see how this goes. If I get bored (or start to bore you), I’ll stop. If you loved it for some reason, please subscribe to my feed.

p.s. Vancouver Food Tour is now taking reservations!

Discussion : What did you learn today?

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  • Megan (Best of Fates)

    Hilarious and informative – I’ll now be coming here for all food related news!

  • diva

    man this is nuts! I love ramsay and i’ve dined at his co-owned (?) Murano..going again in a couple of weeks. Now i feel dirty for liking him! I did not know he was cheating on his wife. thanks for sharing. gets me out of boring research x

  • Don

    Your chow has a beautiful coat on him. Lovely breed these “cats” of the dog world :)

    As for your headline roundup, sounds like the telegraph rushed to publish their piece. That, or they were trying to evoke an emotional response from their readers…

    Chef Gordon Ramsay has some mad skills. Sadly, one of them isn’t business…

    As for the Food Network star, I stopped watching the network 6 years ago. Like I was chatting with Shao (@friedwontons4u), I wonder if the accused murder plotting tv personality thought he could pay the assassins in food…

  • Nicole

    Nice gossip roundup! I remember “The Calorie Commando” from like 6 or 7 years ago(around the time I stopped watched FN). He used to makeover unhealthy dishes and apparently he was quite large at one time and changed his diet drastically. Crazy to think a murderer could slip through the cracks. The Gordon Ramsay stuff is terrible. When you’re going to be brutally honest with others, you better not have skeletons in your closet!

  • Leela@SheSimmers

    Melody Spits — Haha. Catchy.
    This looks like it’s shaping up to be a great segment on Gourmet Fury.

    Glad you didn’t spit that story about the chef who died of an eel. It put me off unagi for life.

  • admin

    @Leela HAHA OH MAN that eel attack was so disgusting! I couldn’t bring myself to.

    If anyone is curious. email me.

  • rin

    “Why’s China still going to space?”

  • Simone

    Keep ‘m coming those little bits! I do have twitter but I am not there a lot (lack of time!) so it’s always good to see it in a bit more detail! Plus I love a good gossip… :))

  • Marc @ NoRecipes

    LOL, love your new column! Great idea! How is it that we still haven’t met? Evan keeps bugging me about it. We’ll have to fix that:-)

  • Phyllis

    Awww…cute chow chow! I love wacky food news so I hope you continue to spit.
    I saw a couple episodes of Calorie Commando many many years ago and found the chef pretty annoying but didn’t detect any homicidal tendencies. And FN is just not the same after they turfed Mario Batali and hired Guy Fieri to host a gazillion shows.

  • Rose @ The Bite Me Kitchen

    I’m sooo far behind! This is hilarious and I love it! Gordon Ramsay, YUCK. No respect for that crap. What a moron. I had no idea who this Food Network guy is either. Seriously, people, get over yourselves! Keep me in the food gossip/news loop! I’m twitter-lazy.

  • Irenelim

    So, why is China still going to space?

  • Bonita Mok

    This totally brightened up my otherwise dull day during lunch today. Loving your spits…keep it up!

    (Your dog is too adorable!!)

  • Teresa

    heard of this little hole in the wall restaurant in some Korean town which specializes in dog meat…don’t think I’ll visit that spot anytime soon.

    And yes…how could G. Ramsay be broke?? How many restaurants, books, kitchen stuff collection, etc does he have on the market?

    and do keep on spitting! ;)

  • jenn c.

    ah! melody, i love this!
    always a fan of your fun this is great!
    thanks :D


  • Mr. Guilty

    Love the commentary Mel. :) Keep it up!